Mohair beret in Poland is a weapon stronger than Kalashnikov

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So..it is not another post about tribes and the ancient history of Poland. Recently I was watching a fake movie translation (u know when somebody cuts a random part of the movie and adds nonsense dubbing or fake translation.. It is popular in Poland. We had a lot of those when we make fun of many of the word leaders) I go to the very ends of Internet at times and this time I found stupid but hilarious fake translation. One of the sentences was that in Poland there are many different modern Tribes of people. And by the time I finished watching this part I was on the floor laughing my ass so hard.

Basically one if the sentences in this translation is that in Poland there are tribes as follows:
słoiki, mohery, lemingi, polaki-cebulaki, Janusze ,łże-elity, lud smoleński, katoliban.

For a foreigner it will not make much sense but what it is translated is actually true. There are those tribes in a way that we the Poles do laugh at certain groups of people (that is ourselves).

Let me break it down into parts and describe each of those modern tribes of Poland (do not confuse with any of the sub cultures). Please be advised that this post is not for the purpose of offending anybody.

 1. SŁOIKI  - (The 'JARS')

I made a post about Jars some time ago.

In Poland we have a name for the people returning from home towns to city that they work/live during week. We cal them JARS. As you can actually sometimes hear that sound when jars are touching one another in their bags. It is funny. Yes we do laugh at this and nobody is offended.

2. MOHERY - Mohair berets*

 It is almost like an army. You know those mohair berets that elderly ladies wear. As winter is coming they shyly start to appear on the streets.

Mohair berets it is a little offensive, pejorative statement about elderly people that identify strongly with politic views of a very conservative movement of polish Catholicism represented by father Tadeusz Rydzyk. The name for the group of people comes from typical headgear of the group's representatives.

The term “mohair berets” alludes to the colloquial name "Green berets" for military units such as special forces (in Polish, "red and green berets").

In the polish press, it was 1st mention in Maria Nabrutt article titled "Labirynty księdza prałata' in Reczpospolita newspaper from the 23th October 2004. As Internet loves those types of things people immediately started to use it to describe elderly people in general and not necessary the followers of any catholic Radio or TV station in Poland.

Mohair beret in Poland it is a weapon stronger than Kalashnikov. So if your grandmother puts her beret on you should be aware that something is going on.



Go ahead and laugh, you will not be laughing when they attack you with some of the stuff used as their regular battle equipment:
  • Rosary aka prayer beads to strangle the opponent or rosaries with pointed cross (for adepts of mohair-jitsu);
  • Mohair Beretta FS92
  • Mothballs
  • Kaczynskiv cocktails (level up from the Molotov cocktails)
  • Self-defense walking stick;
  • The book of worship full of magic spells;
  • Denture tablets "Corega"
  • Removable thrown weapon - "The Denture"
  • Mints
  • Two-Handed Combat Cross "The Crucyfix";
  • The phone with big buttons and a flashlight,
  • Holy water gun

*For more detailed description check out also this fun post http://nonsensopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Moherowa_armia

3. Polaki - cebulaki (The Poles - onions)

Posted about it here


More to come..


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